Why Domestic Violence Increases During the Holidays: Wellness and Prevention Strategies

The holiday season is supposed to be a time for celebration, but it can also be a period of increased tension and stress in multiple aspects of life for many Americans. Unfortunately, this often leads to a spike in domestic violence rates. It’s important to understand that holiday stress itself does not cause domestic violence during the holidays or at any other time of year. The responsibility for abuse lies squarely with abusers and the choices they make and can’t be excused by any circumstance. 

Nonetheless, several holiday-related factors can exacerbate already unhealthy relationships, putting survivors and their children in greater danger of violent escalation.
Financial StrainIt’s no secret that celebrating the holidays is expensive. Financial pressures escalate during this time because people feel compelled to spend money on decorations, elaborate meals, gifts, and items for attending holiday events, such as clothing. Many families already struggle with tight budgets, and the added expectation of holiday spending can push tensions over the edge. In fact, financial stress is a leading cause of increased conflict in households during the holidays. This strain often escalates into verbal, emotional, or even physical abuse as frustrations build.

Increased Alcohol Consumption
Holiday celebrations often involve alcohol, and while moderate consumption may be harmless for some, excessive drinking can lower inhibitions, impair judgment, and escalate tensions. Increased alcohol intake is one of the most significant contributing factors to domestic violence over the holidays, as it can intensify arguments and lead to violent outbursts.

Family Dynamics and Unrealistic Expectations
Family gatherings during the holidays can bring unresolved conflicts to the surface. Some individuals may feel pressured to meet unrealistic expectations from their partners or family members. Because this time is centered squarely on family and partner bonds, the holiday season can also bring underlying relationship issues into the spotlight, creating an environment ripe for conflict.

Isolation
While the holidays are associated with togetherness, many abuse survivors experience increased isolation during this time. The expectation that families should be spending quality time together at home on these occasions can make it difficult for survivors to seek help or leave abusive situations. Isolation, both physical and emotional, can make it harder for survivors to find the support they need.

Stress and Emotional Overload
The stress of managing holiday responsibilities — cooking, cleaning, hosting, shopping, and attending events — can leave individuals feeling overwhelmed and emotionally drained. Combined with financial worries and pre-existing relationship tensions, this emotional overload can fuel abusive behavior. Heightened stress levels often serve as a trigger for violence in already volatile households.

Healthy Ways to Relieve Stress and Stay Safe
Although the holiday season can be stressful, there are many ways for partners to manage stress in healthy ways and prevent conflict from escalating into violence. Building these practices into daily life during the holiday season can help promote emotional well-being and reduce tensions at home. It’s also important to protect any children in the household from the harmful effects of stress.

Communicate Openly and Honestly
One of the most effective ways to manage stress and prevent arguments is through clear, open communication. Partners and family members should take time to discuss their expectations for the holidays, address potential stressors before they arise, and work together to manage challenges before they become overwhelming. Communication can help diffuse conflicts before they escalate. 

Set Realistic Expectations
Unrealistic expectations about holiday perfection can place enormous pressure on any adult. By setting realistic expectations around finances, gift-giving, and family gatherings, couples and families can reduce feelings of disappointment or frustration that might lead to conflict. In addition, families should prioritize self-care and good mental health and focus on enjoying the positive things at hand rather than trying to achieve perfection.
Practice Self-CareTaking care of oneself is essential for managing holiday stress. Activities such as exercising regularly, meditating, and getting enough sleep can help relieve tension and provide emotional balance. It’s important for partners to practice mindfulness and engage in hobbies or activities they enjoy to help alleviate stress. Regular self-care can prevent emotions from boiling over into anger or frustration.

Limit Alcohol Consumption
To reduce the risk of alcohol-fueled arguments, partners should be mindful of their alcohol intake during the holiday season. Drinking in moderation or avoiding alcohol altogether can help maintain a clear mind and prevent situations from escalating into violence, particularly in front of children.

Create a Safety Plan
For individuals in abusive situations, having a safety plan can be crucial, especially during the holidays when everyone is busy and it may be harder to reach out for help. Survivors can plan ahead and develop a strategy to stay safe, such as speaking with trusted friends or family members about calling for help or planning an exit strategy if necessary. Empowering individuals to take these steps can reduce the risk of harm.
Take Breaks and Manage Time WiselyTo prevent feeling overwhelmed, families should break up holiday tasks into manageable steps and schedule time for relaxation. Setting aside time for self-reflection, outdoor activities, or quiet moments can help reduce feelings of burnout. Further, stepping away from high-pressure situations and taking breaks can help prevent conflict from escalating.

The holiday season can be a time of unusually high stress and tension, leading to a rise in domestic violence. However, by recognizing the factors that contribute to this trend and adopting healthy stress-relief strategies, families can work to reduce conflict and promote emotional well-being. Openly communicating, setting realistic expectations, practicing self-care, and creating a safety plan can go a long way toward ensuring a safer and more peaceful holiday season for everyone involved.

Stay Safe This Holiday Season With Project Woman
Project Woman is dedicated to ending domestic violence and sexual assault by providing resources to protect, educate, and empower. We offer a wide range of programs and services to support those affected by domestic violence, sexual violence, intimate partner violence, dating violence, and/or stalking. Our first line of defense for survivors experiencing emergencies is our crisis center. This center provides a safe home for those fleeing domestic and intimate partner violence, sexual assault, rape, or human trafficking. 

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, don’t wait. Call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 1-800-634-9893.

If you have any questions or would like to know more about the programs and services available, please contact us.

Project Woman offers many ways to help survivors. Financial contributions help provide safety, shelter, and trauma-informed services. Donations of items on our wish list or posted on our Facebook page provide survivors with necessities and comfort. We also regularly post volunteer opportunities on our site. All gifts of money, items, and time — no matter how large or small — make a profound difference in people’s lives! Thank you for caring.