Debunking Common Myths About Domestic Abuse and Violence

Domestic abuse and violence are pervasive issues affecting millions of individuals globally. As if this weren’t deeply troubling on its own, common myths about abuse can hinder efforts to prevent and address it effectively.

Misconceptions around domestic abuse and violence are so prevalent that they have become a matter of cultural subtext. Many people not only subscribe to these false beliefs but also may not even be aware of how they came to believe them. Here are some myths and facts about domestic violence and other forms of intimate partner abuse.

Myths About What Domestic Abuse Is and Who It Impacts
Some of the greatest myths about domestic violence and abuse have to do with what defines abuse and who can be impacted by it.

Myth: Domestic Abuse Only Involves Physical Violence
Fact: Domestic abuse encompasses a wide range of behaviors beyond physical violence. It can include emotional, psychological, financial, and sexual abuse. Abusers may use intimidation, threats, isolation, and manipulation to control their victims. That’s because domestic abuse is ultimately about unhealthy levels of power and control, and it can manifest in various non-physical forms.

Myth: Domestic Abuse Only Happens in Poor, Uneducated, or Minority Communities
Fact: Domestic abuse affects individuals regardless of socioeconomic status, education level, race, or ethnicity. It occurs in all communities and across all demographics. The belief that it only happens in certain groups is a stereotype that can prevent survivors from being recognized as such or seeking help.

Myth: Men Are Not Victims of Domestic Abuse
Fact: Domestic abuse is not gender-specific and can affect anyone. People in LGBTQ+ communities disproportionately experience intimate partner violence and abuse. And while cisgender women are statistically the most frequent targets, cisgender men can also be victims. Men may face additional stigma and be reluctant to report abuse due to societal expectations and stereotypes about masculinity.

Myth: Domestic Violence Only Happens to Adults
Fact: One of the biggest myths about child abuse in a domestic setting is that it is strictly a parent-to-child behavior. In fact, youth can experience domestic abuse alongside a parent. Teens can also suffer from stalking or intimate partner violence at the hands of predators or dating partners.

Even those whose exposure is limited to witnessing abuse experience profound negative impacts, from the stress of financial and home life instability to serious mental health disorders. For these kids and teens, removal from these relationships, as well as appropriate forms of therapy, are critical for healing and recovery.
Myths About the Causes of Domestic AbuseMany misperceptions about the underlying drivers of abusive behavior serve only to defend it, excuse it, normalize it, or mischaracterize it as situational.

Myth: Victims Provoke Their Abusers
Fact: No one deserves to be abused, and survivors are not responsible for the abuser’s actions. Abuse is a choice made by the abuser, not a reaction to their partner’s behavior. This myth perpetuates victim-blaming and discourages victims from seeking help.

Myth: Alcohol and Drugs Cause Domestic Violence
Fact: While substance abuse can exacerbate violent behavior, it is not the root cause of it. Domestic violence is primarily about power and control. Blaming alcohol or drugs shifts responsibility away from the abuser and overlooks underlying patterns of control and dominance.

Myths About How to Stop Domestic Abuse
Some of the most harmful misconceptions about abusive behavior are those around taking action to stop it. They fail to accept that abuse is a chronic and cyclical problem, and they can also place blame on survivors in ways that perpetuate other forms of misogyny.

Myth: If the Abuse Was That Bad, Survivors Would Just Leave
Fact: Leaving an abusive relationship is extremely complex. Survivors may face numerous barriers, such as fear of further violence, financial dependence, lack of support, emotional attachment to the abuser, and custody or other legal complications. Further, the period after leaving an abuser is often the most dangerous time for survivors, and many are murdered during this time.

If you know someone who is experiencing domestic abuse, you can help them by doing things like listening without judgment, offering support, and providing practical assistance if they decide to leave the relationship.

Myth: Domestic Abuse Is a Couple’s Business and Should Be Dealt With Privately
Fact: Domestic violence is a major public health issue that requires community intervention and support. Treating it as a private matter fails to recognize the problem as a pervasive issue, isolates victims, and allows abuse to continue unchecked. Public awareness, legal intervention, and community support are crucial in addressing and preventing domestic violence.

Myth: If the Abuser Is Sorry and Apologizes, the Abuse Will Stop
Fact: Apologies and promises to change are common tactics used by abusers to manipulate their victims. Without genuine commitment to change — and often, professional intervention — the cycle of abuse is likely to continue. Temporary remorse does not equate to long-term change.

Myth: Counseling Will Stop the Abuser’s Behavior
Fact: While partner or marriage counseling can be beneficial, it is not a guaranteed solution to stop an abuser’s behavior. Many abusers do not change, even with therapy. The focus should be on ensuring the victim’s safety and holding the abuser accountable for their actions.

Understanding the myths and facts about domestic abuse and violence is crucial for providing appropriate support and intervention. By dispelling these misconceptions, we can create a more informed and compassionate society that supports victims and holds abusers accountable. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, seek help from local resources or national hotlines. Awareness and education are key steps in combating domestic violence.

Fight Myths About Domestic Abuse With Project Woman
Project Woman is dedicated to ending domestic violence and sexual assault by providing resources to protect, educate, and empower. We offer a wide range of programs and services to support those affected by domestic violence, sexual violence, intimate partner violence, dating violence, and/or stalking. If you have any questions or would like to know more about the programs and services available, please contact us.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, do not wait. Call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 1-800-634-9893.

Project Woman offers many ways to help survivors. Financial contributions help provide safety, shelter, and trauma-informed services. Donations of items on our wish list or posted on our Facebook page provide survivors with necessities and comfort. We also regularly post volunteer opportunities on our site. All gifts of money, items, and time — no matter how large or small — make a profound difference in people’s lives! Thank you for caring.

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